My art come from a desire to articulate something which – for me – there are no words. I pray for and meditate on being given a voice to express myself comprehensively.
It is, in essence, a simple desire to connect. To connect with something inside me – to connect with something inside my subject, all with a core intention to connect the viewer with something inside themselves.
Meditation can spark an idea of how this itch can be scratched – how it can all be achieved; leading to a flash of inspiration which leads to exploratory sketches – which may or may not work.
These preliminary sketches may lead to more involved sketches, often leading to levels of discouragement (maybe the sketches were too involved to soon – ego-driven expectations vs allowing the vision to come to me/through me) or confusion which may (often does) lead back to inspiration, which will inevitably lead to a calm and more cogent approach to a series of paintings – each subject may be different yet all follow a similar formula or process.
As pieces fall in to place – and ego dissolves – I find that words and feelings are being articulated as art. A voice rises.
It’s a process…
The above is a good example of ‘ego’ taking over losing the essence of innocence and beauty (whether redhead or curly blonde), bulldozed by an want for more; more muscle, more colour… more of something necessary. It’s self-will run riot and thrown onto a page – the result of which made me laugh. In the past I would have A) thrown it away before anyone could have seen it or B) never EVER shown it to anyone – except in some other context.
Usable or not, it’s part of the process.
Through this work I realize that I am not my thoughts and I’m not my beliefs or even those debilitating early conditioning’s.
I am aware – now – that when I’m in a state of gratitude, I draw and paint easily and express freely – in a way I simply cannot do in words.
When I fall prey to my ego or the “I want what I want” portion of my experience, I become powerless and the foundations of my work crumble. The piece loses it’s authenticity.
It, too, is part of the process.
The search continues…
COMING SOON…. videos of the process.